Faith

Today it hit me.... With the Buddy Walk just around the corner and not having as many people able to join us as I had hoped, I realized how tough it is at times to do this thing alone. I have come to terms with Lily having Down syndrome for the most part. You know it's a process of acceptance and some days are easier than others. But, I was thinking about how important this walk is to me and how much it means to me today. I was feeling a little sad that I didn't have anyone to share that with. I know my family loves Lily and everything, but I don't know that anyone else besides another parent of a child with a disability could truly understand. I wanted this day to be as important to everyone as it is to me and I had to accept that it is not. That was truly tough. I understand this is my life and everyone else has their own life. I just felt sad that I did not have a partner who would have shared with me the meaning of what this day holds for me. I missed out on having that support from the beginning and I wished I could have had that. I will never know what it would have been like to go through all those emotions together. Having someone who could share Lily's life with me and get where I am coming from. Maybe it could happen still, I don't know. I am a strong woman and I will be okay. I was just hoping we were going to have a really big team and all the people we love and care about could have supported us. Tough to know the support system is not so big. I am a strong woman, I have to accept this and realize it's okay, I can get through this and I will. I can shed a tear and wipe it off and get back up again and show the world it doesn't matter. A team of 2 or 4 or 6 will be all we need and someday I won't walk alone. I have faith.....